Celebration

Celebration, as a society we love to celebrate. Birthdays, Holidays, Office Parties, New Years, TV Shows, Game Shows, Get togethers. Any excuse we can get to have a party, people will exploit it to it's fullest extent. Mostly for cake. We also love to celebrate specific people in our society. Those elites of our culture that make us believe that what we want is to be like them. We idolize them to the point of obsession. Celebrity culture is not one of fame and fortune. Nor is it about being wild and going against what we believe to be moral. It's about celebrating what we as a society are not. We celebrate because things that do not occur on a regular basis. We celebrate what we do not have as normal people. Celebrities in our culture exonerate the opposite of the mundane. What ever that is? Apparently people want to be in the movies, make music, play sports, or be a politician. There are no garbage man celebrities. It's because celebrities bring celebrity upon themselves, and people love to watch. We love the things that we can't have. It doesn't even mean that we want the things that we can't have. We love the things that matter least in our lives. The things we don't want and the things we can't have. The things we would never want to be and the things that we could never be. The life not lived. The grass is always greener. As long as we tell stories people will always want to be what they can't be. That is the nature behind celebrity and celebration. Instead of longing for the unknown, we should begin to examine our own locale and find out why we are here in the first place and whether this is where we belong. The only things that truly matter in life are the things that we can change. Changing for disastrous consequences or not.

Video Games

Video games are not an escape. Video games are a way for people to be who they want to be. People they couldn't be outside the game. People who spend their time tending a farm, living a life filled with intrigue, action, excitement. People blowing the heads off of demons with a sword. People who are leaders taking their troops into battle. People who know how to fire a gun. People who know how to be a good teammate. Video games allow people to acquires skills that they wouldn't normally be able to achieve in real life. Take the Sims for example, the premise is ridiculous. Live some other persons's life. But the premise is not crazy at all. To live the life of a person without inhibitions. To have total control is what people enjoy about the game. It's not the desire to escape that causes people to play video games. For most I would guess it's the want to have control over your own surroundings and take responsibility for your own actions. Most of us in everyday life live in a bureaucratic world we have a boss, a paycheck, a job, a government, a life we must take care of, and rules we have to follow. Video games allow us to become the boss, the government, the place where we are the only people who can affect change in the world. This is what I think people enjoy most out of games. The feeling of being powerful.

Computers: Or when I learned I suck at social

Computers and I have a short and ambitious history together. I am a computer science major, so I have some familiarity with the medium. I have long seen computers as a tool for work and business, and a setting for interactive entertainment. Yet for others there is a completely different mechanism behind there relationship with a computer. Social interaction at it's finest. Talking, Chatting, Skypeing, Video Chatting, Youtube videos, Facebook, Forums, E-mail. Almost all the of some people's time on a computer is spend either posting content for discussion and review (very formal way of stating this), or reviewing other people's ideas. For generations the computer has been an homage to the lacking-social-luster nerd category. Someone who neither likes to talk to others or someone no one else likes to talk to. Now everyone and their dog (you've heard of the cat that tweet's right?) has a smartphone, netbook, or is an ABC (Apple Based Consumerist, this includes me, only I got mine used so I have more nerd cred). But why do people need all these things? To talk to people of course. Texting is not inherently fun, although unless you are a 12-25 year old girl either is talking on the phone. Your sad little fingers are crying as you make them cramp together and push those tiny little touch-screen buttons as you tell your friend about what Shane said to Annie last weekend or just the words WTF? for no reason. Even as a person of means I have no texting for my phone. I don't keep a chat page open on my computer for months at a time. I don't even bring my phone with me half of the time I leave my house. Maybe it's my lack of interesting things to say to people that makes me so bad at the new internet comm. phenomena. But one thing is more apparent than ever being social is hard, whether it is on the internet or not. People are born with it, they try real hard to get it, or they fail at it. I am of the latter category.

To Err in Behavior

To err in behavior, a tragic offence. To side with the winds, instead of the lance. The criterion fly, as they whip past my mind. For the place they had sprung, was stretched taut so fine. A rhythmic line, after next, and another. In replacement of guts, where the fools ought not bother. In poetic prose, it's jilting describes, the ingenious whisper of forlorn-ed lost lives. Alpha, with beta, and Arabic tongue, showering the learned with foundational rungs. To destroy and to punish, without punitive measure. To err in behavior, and to be judged for pleasure.

My Day

I keep trying to write blog entries but they just feel preachy and stupid like nothing good is coming out of them. I want to understand myself better and help me write better and examine the world around me better, and help examine some of the thoughts of my day. So here goes. I wake up and it's really too early. I know that there are people who get up at 4:30 or some ungodly hour, but I don't care because I'm really tired. I get in the shower and then get dressed. I'm still wearing clothes from when I was 12 it sucks but I don't really care about how I look. I have one pair of pants that fit so I put those on. I spend the next 30 minutes writing a blog entry about keyboards then I stop because it is really bad. I take the dog outside and it is really cold. I wish I had some fur like his. But anyway it's time to go to school. My mom is driving me to college. I feel silly but not enough to care and I learning stuff about my mom. Cheney is bleak and awful in the winter and every person driving on the side streets looks like they are going to blast right through and t-bone you. I walk up to the PUB lab, it's where I work. I talk to Leah about something but I'm too tired to remember what. I don't remember much about my day. But anyway I walk to Geology. The room is really small and the teacher turns the lights off to show a powerpoint slideshow about the Earth. He passes out a bunch of rocks and they all end with my at the back so I but them on an empty desk next to me. I'm worried whether or not the desk can hold them all. Luckily it does. Next it's time for Linear Algebra. It's really cold. I saw this guy just blatantly staring at a girl as he walks by her. She is wearing nylon stockings and high-heels, I think she is fucking cold and stupid and is going to trip down the stairs, she doesn't. Linear Algebra is interesting, I have lots of friends in there. It gets over and as we are walking I say "Why can't the sun just explode already and burn us all up?" rather loudly. Back to the PUB lab to work for an hour. It's nice to hang out with Seth when he is in a good mood, otherwise he is a big loser. Time for Algorithms. My teacher is Japanese and always looks like he is going to laugh. I think in his mind he is laughing at us because we are stupid to him. We don't have any questions about last week's material so he let's us leave after 21 minutes. Back to the PUB lab. I look for a part that is supposed to come in, but it doesn't. I talk with the new lab con, and she is drawing a picture. I walk to my mom's office and we leave to go to my eye appointment. Exam rooms are small and very utilitarian, there is a weird poster of the anatomy of an eye. My vision is getting worse slowly but nothing serious. I drive home with my mom. I can't remember driving home at first but now I do. I think it's weird how our brains don't bother to remember things that we have done a whole bunch of times. I sit at my desk to study algorithms. I'm writing this blog, and I'm going to post it, because it is ok.